Mr Potato Head's Life and Times

Mr P on a brand new start

alicorndreams — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 23:58:50 +0000

Oh my gosh it has been such a long dry spell. Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t find the energy to dig yourself out of bed in the morning? I have felt like that for just about ever. No energy (and for someone almost entirely made of carbs that is going somewhere).

But you know, there are turning points in every spud’s life. And I’m going to just pull myself up by my bootstraps and get my behind togehter.

I had a nice hot cup of coffee this afternoon and took a nice long walk around the block and ducked several dogs that looked like they could chew off my left ear.

Look out world, I’m back!

Tomorrow we are off to visit the zoo. I’m taking the kids to visit my friend who is a zoo keeper at the Phoenix zoo… complete with goofy zoo keeper hat and everything.

Itis a marveous day!

Mr P

Mr Potato Head on Walking Through People’s Lawns

alicorndreams — Sat, 03 May 2008 22:18:22 +0000

When I was a young spud, we were taught to never ever ever ever ever ever ever walk through people’s yards. Apparently I must have been one of the only individuals to be taught this (although as I recall the assembly where we were taught it when I remember most was pretty full) or I was one of the only ones that was actually paying attention.

I see people walking through other people’s front yards every day just becuase it is three or MAYBE four steps closer to the destination. Pu-leese. I am a starch head and I know that three or four steps isn’t going to kill anyone. People ride bikes, ride quads, ride motorcycles through other people’s yards becuase it is a bit closer. That is just rude.

Even when there is grass that is way over my head and there is poison ivy that I have to dodge, I will still, to this day, decades later, not walk through yards that don’t belong to me. I WILL walk through an easement or a vacant lot (there are great things to investigate that people throw into these kind of places). But I can’t make myself walk through a yard that I don’t belong to, unless I happen to be walking up to the door of that house.

Am I really that weird? I guess maybe I am.

Mr P

On Humans and Birthdays

alicorndreams — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:28:32 +0000

What is it with humans and the significance that they place on birthdays? I mean really. In our case, if you get too old, you just start to turn mushy and rot. Why would anyone want to celebrate that?

I have been watching the people around the office and seeing how some humans decorate the cubes of other humans (thereby apparently totally humilating them) by decorating their cubes. Oh joy. Give me a little piece of chcolate cake (okay okay, so we DO have some priorities) and let it all go at that, huh?

There is something, too, in the age of the person celbrating. Sometimes the decorations that are put up are festive and bright (balloons… streamers… the whole 9 yards) and sometimes they are jet black. what is with the black ones. If this is a celebration, why use black? Black is for way after you turn mushy and start to rot.

Me, I keep checking to make sure that I don’t have any mushy spots anywhere and go right on watching people. Humans are such funny, amazing, interesting creatures

Mr P

In the quiet of the morning

alicorndreams — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:49:54 +0000

Have you ever had one of those mornings when you just can’t sleep and you have to get up and do something? This morning was one of those mornings. I got out of my cozy little bed and ventured out into the cold dark morning and sat and listened to Disney Tunes Radio. It is my very happy unbirthday today… I just realized that. I realized too that the world is full of weird beings, much like myself, who find themselves up in the wee hours of the morning wondering through life and enjoying the quiet.

Did you know that the refrigerator makes some of the weirdest noises at 4 am? And it is chilly at that hour of the morning.

Trains sound much louder in the early early morning, and so do windchimes and rain… and rain can sound even lounder than trains.

And time to get ready for work sneaks up on you from out of nowhere and you have to trot off to take a shower and shave.

Now, if I can just get this silly dog off of my foot.

Mr P

When you’re Mr PotatoHead holidays happen all year long

alicorndreams — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:06:45 +0000

Holidays are so totally rad. Cupid can find true love with Santa Clause!

I have started to venture into a whole new world, a world where I can live out my fantasies and live any adventure I want to live. True, I have to be as careful as my fleshy friends warn me to be. But as long as I’m careful, I can dress up in whatever outfit I want to dress up in and live for a time as any other creature that I choose. I dressed up, today, in my new Santa suit that I got right after the holiday (it was marked so totally way down… down to only $3 at Target, can you imagine) and went out on the town. I found a new friend (Cat) who was dressed up like Cupid. The outfit was a bit unusal… and the feet kind of reminded me of Hobbit feet, but we got to talking and now we are becoming fast friends.

I understand that I have led a rather sheltered life, but more and more I’m discovering that there are all kinds of wonderful taters out there that I can be friends with… Taters who are a lot like me… and a lot different. It sure makes life interesting.

Mr P

Some days you just feel like dressing pretty

alicorndreams — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 01:07:03 +0000

Today, you know, I just felt like dressing up and looking attractive. I don’t suppose that it is actually what I should be wearing to work in the office, but when you feel like a princess, it is important that you jsut dress like a princess. It was a stressful couple days and dressing in frills and pumps is a great way to relieve the stress.

Don’t you think that I’m kind of attractive as a princess? I think so.

I will probably be the talk of the office by tomorrow, but I really don’t care. It was what suited the day

Mr P

Mr Potato Head on the Detritus of Life

alicorndreams — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:00:17 +0000

Have you ever listened to the Sesame Street song Nearly Missed?

While looking at my feet, at a crack in the sidewalk
An old tin can by the side of the road
I nearly missed a rainbow
I nearly missed a sunset
I nearly missed a shooting star going byWhile studying a brand new hole in my sneaker
Finding a quarter and an old bus token
I nearly missed a rainbow
I nearly missed a sunset
I nearly missed a shooting star going by.

Looking down at the ground means you
Know where you’re going
No head-up-in-the-clouds to lead you astray
But you can’t ever have any kind of dream
That way

While looking at my feet, at a crack in the sidewalk
An old tin can by the side of the road
I nearly missed that rainbow
Don’t want to miss that sunset
I wouldn’t miss that shooting start going by
Passing me by
Going right by.

(lyrics found on http://members.tripod.com/tiny_dancer/nearly.html)

This has long been one of my favorite songs… One of the reasons that I learned early to shoot for the stars. Thanks, mom for the album. It was a treasure then and I long to find a duplicate on CD now. Of course when you are a potato, it is often less easy to look anywhere but straight ahead. But I can do it because I know I can.

But you know, there are times when looking down is very educational.

Take this morning for instance. You can learn a lot about the city (or the neighborhood) by looking down at the detritus that accumulates on the streets and along side the sidewalk. You can learn where NOT to park your car from the evidence of where the stupid grackles congregate.

You can learn where not to park your car because someone else already had their windows smashed out.

If the building has a granite floor, you can see the sunrise.

You can find a quarter

You can smell the vomit where some drunk got sick the night before long before you actually step in it.

You can learn a lot.

You might need to pick and choose your days… so you don’t miss a sun set… or a rainbow… or the amazing look of one building’s reflection of itself reflected in another building reflected in itself…

but then, that is probably just TOO exestential.

Mr P

Mrs Potatohead goes shopping

alicorndreams — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:44:59 +0000

He He He

Hi everyone. It’s the holiday season and I am been so Totally busy. Today I’m going shopping at the mall (tr`e fun…. he he he). The mall will probably be packed, and I know I will need to take special care not to get mashed, but it is going to be such an adventure. I’m hoping to find a santa suit for Pete so he can surprise the kids. That will be really cute. It is really hard to find a santa suit to fit him, though, and everywere that is suppsed to have them… don’t. I need to find something for Tony, too, who is maturing into such a wonderful dragon. What do you get a dragon for Christmas though? Hmm.

After shopping, I think I will make another batch of COOKIES!!! I know that with our shapes, we really don’t need the extra sugar, let alone more starches, but hey, it IS the holiday season!

Mrs P

Mr Potato Head on Thanksgiving

alicorndreams — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:44:40 +0000

You know, I have been thinking… it isn’t fair that one of the main dishes in the Thanksgiving feast is mashed potatoes and another is sweet potatoes. I mean really. No one even asked if we minded being invited to dinner where we were ostensibly part of the meal.

Granted, the family didn’t partake in the repast. they steared towards the turkey and stuffing and the fluffy pink stuff that no one knows what to call but that is killer on a good day. Still, when you are sitting at the table and someone passes you not only the potatoes but the gravy too, it is just too too much.

That aside, it was really a wonderful holiday. Much fun was had by all.

Mr P

Mr Potato Head on Baby Dragons

alicorndreams — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 13:25:35 +0000

Baby dragons (I wonder what baby dragons are really called…. cat – kitte… dog-puppy… fish-guppy) eat a lot.

Eating a lot, though, isn’t the half of it. Man, when they go and get rid of what they ate, they can poop a huge pile. How in heavens name do you find ONE bag big enough to hold all of their business. And you can’t just leave it lay around in the grass. It will eat away the grass, and it is not possible to hide a dragon in the neighborhood if you leave big piles of dragon poop all over the place. And I kind of have to hide my pet, at least till Tony gets big enough to fly because I think Dragons fall into the exotic pet category and the home owners association would frown on him.

Sigh.

Mr P